Filthy Rich Zombie Hands

Last week I had the rare opportunity of sitting one seat away from the wife of someone recently listed on the list of Forbes billionaires.

WRONG!Nope, it wasn't Mrs. Bill Gates. Although I was behind Bill in traffic once. The Montlake bridge was going up - he had a huge hissy fit and pulled a big U-turn instead of waiting for the bridge to come back down. Word of advice - when a nerd is freaking out - just get the hell out of their way!

Anyway, so back to my original subject - I'm wondering - what kind of a ring does a billionaire's wife wear? We have to be talking at least 5 carats, right? She was right behind me so I had to do a casual, over my shoulder, head turn as if something else was attracting my attention. Damn! I strained my damn neck for nothing. No ring. No nuthin. Just those scary zombie hands that skinny bitches over the age of 25 get. Angelina Jolie has them. Veiny, boney, knuckely hands contained within the thinnest layer of skin. Ladies - eat a cupcake once in a while - you can be too thin. Trust me on this one.